In the name of Spooky Season, we thought it was incredibly apt to ask you about your dating horror stories. We knew that you’d have the goods, and, as always, you delivered.
Without further ado, here are some of your dates-gone-badly-wrong.
Leave your mark?
I was on a 3rd date with a guy and went to gently hit his phone out of his hands but accidentally hit it much harder straight into his face and bust his lip open... we didn't see each other again 🙃🙃
Arrhythmic disaster ft. wounded soul
Sex wise, I once had the worst 4 minutes of my life, this poor guy had no rhythm and i think no idea how to pleasure a woman... I even told him what to do at one point to try and help but he just ignored me and carried on for 2 more soul-destroying minutes.
Indigestion with a misogynist
Within 10 minutes of meeting and being in the car he started telling me about covid conspiracy stories and how it’s fake and how the government are trying to control us 😴 just what you want to hear on the first date and within 5 mins of meeting 😂 We then drove past a house and I mentioned I’m going to view that house, his response was ‘you can afford that?’ Then he started talking about gender pay gaps and how he believes in a psychologist called Pearson and starts saying how men earn more money than women because men are more driven and women get satisfied more easily in life. I was gobsmacked. We went for food for no more than 30 mins. He kept making remarks about women, and then we left sharply. He was 32 and when I got home he had unliked all the photos he liked of me on insta. 😂😂😂 We have never spoken again. Now that was a bad date 😂
Ooops I… ended up on a date?
I once ended up on an accidental date. I thought I was meeting up with a group of people but only me and this guy turned up. To be fair the day was nice but I just wasn’t interested at all. He even tried to grab my hand to hold but I just brushed it off.
The Lightbulb.
I went on a first date and the first thing the guy said to me was ‘wow you’re really exotic’ and because I’m South Asian we wanted me to do the lightbulb Bollywood dance while we were sitting in a bar. And he kept saying ‘I’m not going to talk to you unless you get up and do the lightbulb dance’. When I refused and said I don’t want to and can’t do the dance he didn’t say anything to me for a minute or two 😂😂 and then he asked again, ‘just do the dance’. I refused and said I don’t know it and then he started talking to people on the other tables saying ‘she’s a liar’. Most embarrassing date of my life 😬😬😬
Foot fetish with a silver lining
I went to this house party and there was a guy there who I thought was quite hot and we were chatting loads and I invited him back to mine. We went outside to wait for the uber and i see him fully in the street lights (it was 4am at this point) and was like ‘oh fuck’ not keen at all any more but i’d already invited the guy back. So basically made it super clear in the uber that he could stay at mine (he was supposed to be staying the night at the place where the house party was) but that nothing was going to happen. We get back to mine and he wasn't that bad i just really did not want to have sex with him. So we're lying in my bed and I'm trying to ignore him and go to sleep and he keeps making moves and i keep saying no. And in his final attempt to seduce me he knelt at the end of the bed he picked up my leg and put my whole foot in his mouth. And started sucking my toes. I literally died.
The most embarrassing part was that the following morning at 9am, the doorbell rang and I totally forgot there was a house viewing (the house i was living in was for sale). So I opened the door and there's an estate agent with 4 couples standing outside and I had to kick the guy out in front of them. Cherry on top? The estate agent was really hot, got his number and actually ended up seeing him for a bit.
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We LOVE hearing from you - especially getting the 411 on your dating experiences, funny flatmate stories, and a snapshot of a day in the life. Basically, if you ever have a story you think we’d be remotely interested in, send us a DM! We hope your future dates go a little better than these horror stories. Sending you lots of love (and luck), team WooWoo xo
We LOVE hearing from you - especially getting the 411 on your dating experiences, funny flatmate stories, and a snapshot of a day in the life. Basically, if you ever have a story you think we’d be remotely interested in, send us a DM! We hope your future dates go a little better than these horror stories. Sending you lots of love (and luck), team WooWoo xo
